LIVING WITH AN ADDICTION

I didn’t know much about a drug addiction before I read this book. Sometimes I heard the news that some famous singers, actors and actresses had died or had been arrested because of it. Every time I saw the drug related news, I wondered why they relapsed again and again. After reading this book, I realized how hard it is to stop using a drug and keep being sober. Thanks to the author’s dedicated research, I understand that the drug causes damage to a person’s brain function and it affects their behavior. It leads to the fact that drug addicts can’t make right decisions. 

​

 It took time for me to read this book since I’m an English learner, so I had to search many words in the  dictionary, but that didn’t stop me from reading. The more I read this book, the more I understood the author’s feelings. It must have been terrifying since he had to live with a feeling that he might lose his son. Maybe I still don’t understand his anguish completely, but it feels like I touched or peeked into his heart practically. As a mother of two, I also understand the feelings of his wife very well. She wanted to save Nic, and at the same time, she wanted to protect her children from the influence of Nic, like a bird desperately threatened by an enemy to protect her chicks. It must have been very heart breaking. Although we can’t measure the depth of parents’ love, the effort he and his wife made for their three children for years revealed it.

​

My heart got warm with surprise when Jasper explained about Nic metaphorically as a cartoon character who has a devil and an angel on each side of his shoulders. It means we should take seriously our children’s mental health who have a drug addicted parent or sibling. They comprehend what is happening in their family sensitively as much as adults do. Jasper and Daisy were  trying to understand and accept the situation. And they kept holding onto their love for their big brother.

​

If I were Nic, I would hate and blame myself every time I relapsed. I would be disappointed with myself. Because I would know how much I hurt my family’s heart. They are devastated mentally and then it might become a physical problem. But there is only one thing to blame. The drug itself. A substance that causes damage to the brain. Even though drug addicts try so hard to stay away from it, their brain can’t resist it. Recently I found Nic’s book online. I want to read it, so that I can understand his feelings as well. I think he hurt his heart with his own addiction and also he didn’t want to live the rest of his life controlled by drugs.

​

I have a son, too. Nobody knows whether our child will have a drug related problem. This book helps parents like me to know how terrifying drug addiction is. According to this book, there are many resources to get help. We should consult as many facilities as we can. Because this is the only way we might save drug addicts. We might blame them about using drugs, but we can’t hate them. This conflicting emotion will torture us. It’s easy if we just let them go and forget about them, but we cannot do that. Because we love them. We just can’t give up on them just as the author didn’t give up on his son. I’m sure there is a way to get back our loved ones from addiction.

​

There is one more thing I learned from this book. We can not control or force drug addicts to do something or not to. This is their life. How brutal a reality this is. Nic was surrounded by love. It helped him to go back to rehab on his own.  He didn’t give up on himself. This is remarkable. We have to keep in mind that they relapse occasionally even if they have been sober for years. So we don’t have to be upset about it and we don’t have to blame them or ourselves. Because this is what the drug does to the body.

​

We have to stand up to prevent drug addiction and we should consider how we can help those people who live in the darkness of the addiction. I think they need longer periods of time in a rehab program. If so, parents also can spend a longer time without anxiety, because they know their loved one is in a treatment program. Please stand up against it one more time. Please give them one more chance. I hope every person who suffers from addiction conquers this disease. I want to see as many people as possible celebrate their sobriety. One last thing, I would like to thank the author for sharing with us his precious family experience.